Dear Starbucks Guy,

First, I want to point out that I love your establishment. There's no place better to get a few hours of studying in. And you did a fantastic job freshly grinding and brewing that Pike Place Roast. It was delicious. The way you do your job is truly special.

But seriously, the whistling's got to stop. I know you're happy, and you love your job, but you are really, really bad at whistling. Like, the worst. Those sudden, random, high-pitched bursts are just not very musical. I don't know how you've made it through twenty-something years of your life without anyone telling you how bad you are. Other than that, you're doing a great job.

Grande coffee, please.